When You Pray - Tim Horman
What if the key to prayer isn't getting it right, but simply showing up?
If you've ever felt inadequate in your prayer life—like you don't pray enough, don't use the right words, or don't come with the right attitude—you're not alone. Many of us carry a quiet guilt about prayer, a sense that we're somehow failing at something that should come naturally to Christians. But what if Jesus intended prayer to be something entirely different from what we've made it?
Last Sunday, Tim Horman continued our series on the Lord's Prayer, focusing on Matthew 6:9. Rather than diving straight into the content of the prayer itself (that's coming in the weeks ahead), Tim explored the context and purpose of the Lord's Prayer within the Sermon on the Mount—and what he unpacked was both challenging and deeply liberating. You can watch or listen to the full sermon below.
Prayer as the Foundation of Everything
Tim began with a haunting story from Brennan Manning's book Abba's Child. A priest was called to pray with a dying man, and when he arrived, he noticed an empty chair pulled up next to the bed. The man explained that years ago, someone had given him simple advice: "Do you want to pray? All you have to do is pull up a chair. Imagine that Jesus is sitting there across from you. Just talk to him like you would talk to a friend."
So that's what he did—every day, sometimes for hours. When the man passed away a few days later, his daughter found him with his head resting on that chair.
An empty chair. An imagined presence. A real encounter.
The gospels portray Jesus as a man of relentless prayer. He often withdrew to lonely places to pray—sometimes all night before making important decisions. He would disappear to pray even when the crowds were searching for him, even when his disciples were frustrated by his absence. Prayer wasn't just something Jesus did occasionally when he felt overwhelmed. Tim pointed out that the disciples could see that prayer was the basis for everything Jesus was and everything Jesus did. It was the one activity that defined and shaped the rest of his life.
That's why, in Luke 11, they asked him: "Lord, teach us to pray." It's the only thing recorded in the Gospels that the disciples ever specifically asked Jesus to teach them. They never asked him to teach them how to preach, or heal the sick, or command the wind and waves. But they did ask, "Whatever it is you're doing when you go off by yourself—that thing you seem to value more than the crowds, more than the ministry, more than the influence—please teach us how to do that."
"Prayer wasn't just something that Jesus did. It wasn't just one activity among others. The disciples could see that it was the basis for everything that Jesus was and everything that Jesus did."
The Lord's Prayer as a Roadmap for Discipleship
Tim reminded us that the Lord's Prayer sits right in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount—Jesus' clearest teaching on what life in the kingdom of heaven should look like. The prayer begins with the two most important themes in Jesus' ministry: the Father and the kingdom. "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven."
The direction of the prayer is crucial. We're not praying to escape earth and go to heaven. We're praying for heaven to invade earth—for God's reign and rule to be made real here and now. Heaven to earth, not earth to heaven.
What does that mean practically? It means we're asking for the vision of life outlined in the Sermon on the Mount to become the world we actually inhabit—even in the midst of this fallen, broken, hurting world.
Tim was direct: "We are not here to just wait around until Jesus returns and we get to live in bliss forever. We are here to partner with him in making sure that every place in this world where it's not yet clear that Jesus is reigning and ruling—the dark places, the hurting places, the broken places—we bring the reign and rule of Jesus into those places. Because that's what kingdom people do."
When we pray "Your kingdom come, Your will be done," we're saying: "Father, I don't want to lead my life. I'm laying everything down to Christ. I want to be holy as he is holy. I want to know the Father and obey the Father just as Jesus did."
"While the kingdom of God is total gift, it is also total demand."
That means we're inviting God's loving reign and rule into our homes, marriages, friendships, money, sexuality, bodies, tax returns, lifestyles, attitudes toward others—including our enemies—and our attitudes toward work, colleagues, politics, and political leaders. Everything. Everyone. Everywhere.
The Two Prayer Killers: Pride and Fear
But here's where it gets uncomfortable. If the Lord's Prayer is a roadmap for discipleship—if it's teaching us what a disciple needs to pray because this is what a disciple is attempting to live—then we can't divorce prayer from action. As soon as we do that, our prayers are no longer honest, and we're just putting on a mask.
When you hear Jesus teach in the Sermon on the Mount—blessed are the poor in spirit, love your enemies, don't judge, don't store up treasures on earth, don't murder someone in your heart, don't let lust inflame your thoughts—you might think, "Dear God, I'm not sure I can do any of those things."
And you'd be right. Of course, you can't.
So we have a choice. Do we keep thinking we can do this in our own power if we just try hard enough? Or do we actually hear the very first line of the Sermon on the Mount: "Blessed are the poor in spirit"—blessed are those who know they are weak, who know they need help, who are humble enough to admit it.
Tim identified two of the biggest prayer killers: pride and fear.
Pride says, "God helps those who help themselves. I can handle this on my own." If you choose self-sufficiency, your prayer life will shrivel up and die, because why pray at all if you don't actually want God's help? Jesus said, "Unless you become like a little child, you cannot enter the kingdom." If you have a prayer problem, there's a good chance you have a pride problem.
Fear sounds more spiritual—it disguises itself as humility. It says, "I'm not good enough. I'm not righteous enough. I've failed too many times. My sins are too much. My problems are too small compared to the real problems in the world. God doesn't want to hear from me." But Jesus says, "No, actually, my Dad would very much like you to talk to him."
"Pride and fear—those are two of the biggest prayer killers I know. And the real problem with both of them is that at the bottom, they reveal that we don't really believe that God is good."
Simple, Honest, Direct: Jesus' Three Keys to Prayer
In Matthew 6:5-9, Jesus gives us remarkably simple instructions:
1. Don't pray to be seen. This isn't about looking good in front of other people. There's only one person that matters when you pray—your Father. He doesn't care how you show up; he just wants you to come. You might not feel ready or worthy, but God doesn't care what you're covered with when you come into his presence. Just show up.
2. Don't use many words. You don't need special words, grueling techniques, hours of devotion, or some sacred place. In fact, Jesus encourages you to pray in the least sacred place you can imagine—a cupboard, a closet, a storeroom. The shower, the toilet, the laundry, the car, the train. It doesn't matter, so long as you come before him honestly.
3. Keep it short and direct. Don't go on and on. Why? Because when you ask, your Father has heard you. You don't need to keep repeating yourself. Faith isn't praying for hours until you've moved the heart of God. Faith is asking for what you need simply and directly, as honestly as you can, and then trusting that God has heard you and will manage the outcome.
As one commentator, Dale Bruner, put it: "When Jesus' approach to prayer is taken to heart—that not much is required of us before we can have much of the Father, and that he knows our needs before we even pray—we are liberated to pray much more simply and less heavily."
When prayer stops being a performance and becomes simply presence—you showing up to be with God who is already with you—it shifts from ritual and requirement to relationship and rest.
Prayer Only Works If It's Honest
But here's the catch. Tim was clear: while prayer is easy and beautiful, it only works if it's honest.
Jesus is looking you in the eyes this morning and asking: Do you want what God is offering you in his kingdom and in his will? Do you believe that this is the path not to the easiest life, but to the best possible one? Do you believe the Father truly wants the best for you, even if it looks entirely different from what the world offers?
The truth is, we're torn. We don't naturally want the kingdom and all it represents. If we're honest, we want to lie, judge, hoard our wealth, get revenge, hold onto unforgiveness. But we also don't want to do those things. There's another law at work in us—the law of the Spirit of life, who has set us free from the law of sin and death.
We do want the kingdom. We do want to follow Christ. We do want to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.
"Jesus, I want you, but I don't want you. I want your kingdom, but I don't want your kingdom. I'm torn between these two competing desires. Help me."
That's the honest prayer. That's the prayer Jesus is inviting us to pray. Come like a little child, aware of your weakness, aware of your competing desires. And trust that the same power that filled Jesus at his baptism, that enabled him to do the will of the Father, will fill your mind, body, and heart.
One Way to Live It Out This Week
This week, try praying like the man with the chair. Pull up a chair in a quiet place—or a not-so-quiet place. Imagine Jesus sitting across from you. Don't worry about using the right words or sounding spiritual. Just talk to him like you'd talk to a friend. Tell him honestly what you want, what you don't want, where you're torn. Ask him for help. And trust that your Father, who is good, has heard you.
A Short Prayer
Father, we come to you as little children, aware of our weakness and our need. We confess that we don't always trust your goodness, and we don't always want what you want for us. We're torn between competing desires. But we do want to know you as Jesus knows you, to love you as Jesus loves you, to follow you as Jesus followed you. Help us to believe that you are good, that you love us, and that you delight in giving good gifts to your children. Your kingdom come. Your will be done. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Personal Reflection
What does your current prayer life reveal about whether you struggle more with pride ("I can handle this myself") or fear ("I'm not good enough for God to hear me")?
If you believed that God truly delights in you coming to him—just as you are, without needing to get it right—how might your prayer life change?
When you pray "Your kingdom come, Your will be done," what specific area of your life feels hardest to surrender to God's reign and rule?
Small Group Discussion
How would you describe your prayer life right now? What makes prayer feel easy or difficult for you?
Tim shared the story of the man who prayed by imagining Jesus sitting in a chair across from him. What do you think of that approach? Have you found simple practices like that helpful?
What stood out to you most from Jesus' instructions in Matthew 6:5-9 about how to pray?
Tim said that "prayer only works if it's honest." What does honest prayer look like? What makes it hard to be truly honest with God?
How does understanding the Lord's Prayer as a roadmap for discipleship (not just a formula for how to pray) change the way you read it?
The sermon explored how the Lord's Prayer invites God's reign into every area of life—homes, money, sexuality, work, relationships. Which area feels most challenging for you to surrender to God's kingdom?
Tim identified pride and fear as two major prayer killers. Which one resonates more with your experience, and why?
How can we pray for one another this week—especially in relation to what God has been stirring in your heart through this message?