Father Forgive Us - Linda Bailey
Have you ever believed something your whole life, only to discover it wasn't actually true? Maybe you dutifully waited 30 minutes after eating before jumping back in the pool as a kid. Or perhaps you were convinced the Great Wall of China could be seen from space. These cultural myths are relatively harmless. But what about the misconceptions we carry into our faith — the untruths we believe about God, about forgiveness, about what it means to follow Jesus? Those can fundamentally shape how we pray, how we relate to God, and how we treat one another.
This week, Linda Bailey from our ministry team continued our series through the Lord's Prayer by exploring one of its most challenging and misunderstood phrases: "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us" (Matthew 6:12). Linda tackled three common misconceptions about forgiveness that many of us unknowingly carry. You can watch or listen to the full sermon below.
Misconception #1: God Was Angry Until Jesus Came
We might not openly admit it, but this belief often lurks beneath the surface of how we approach God. There's a subtle assumption that the God of the Old Testament was harsh, judgmental, and quick to punish — and that Jesus arrived to introduce grace and forgiveness for the first time.
Linda reminded us that the Israelites' story dismantles this misconception entirely. Yes, they were God's chosen people, meant to demonstrate to surrounding nations how wonderful life with God could be. And yes, they failed spectacularly and repeatedly. They were freed from Egyptian slavery through miraculous intervention — the parting of the Red Sea, fresh water from rocks, daily manna from heaven. And yet, almost immediately, they melted down their gold to fashion an idol in the shape of a calf, declaring this was the god who had delivered them.
How would we respond to such betrayal? Linda pointed to God's own words in Exodus 34:6-7:
The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands and forgiving wickedness, rebellion, and sin.
Compassion. Grace. Patience. Love. Faithfulness. Forgiveness. These words describe God's character long before Jesus walked the earth. Yes, God is also just — but justice follows a foundation of mercy.
The Israelites fell into a predictable cycle: disobedience, consequences, crying out to God, receiving forgiveness… and then disobeying again. Over and over. Linda explained that the cross didn't introduce something new — it completed what God had been doing all along. As N.T. Wright puts it:
When Jesus went to the cross, he was not simply enacting a timeless theological formula. He was bringing Israel's story to its climax. He was doing what Israel was called to do but could not, bearing the weight of the world's sin, exhausting its power, and opening the way for genuine new creation.
Jesus didn't bring a new kind of God to humanity. He embodied the forgiving heart of God that had always been there.
Misconception #2: Forgiveness Is Only About Personal Salvation
Linda was quick to affirm that personal salvation matters immensely. God's heart for your redemption is so profound that he sacrificed everything so you could be free. The Greek word for "forgive" literally means to let go, to release — not to remain bound up in sin, shame, and guilt, but to be set free.
God gave us the Ten Commandments not as impossible hoops to jump through, but as guidelines to help us understand what binds us up and restricts us from living fully. At first glance, we might think we're doing reasonably well. We're at church, after all. We haven't murdered anyone or committed adultery today.
But Jesus unpacks the commandments more deeply in the Sermon on the Mount. He says that anger toward another person is subject to the same judgment as murder (Matthew 5:21-22). Lustful thoughts are already adultery of the heart (Matthew 5:27-28). It's not just about our actions — it's about our attitudes, our thoughts, the posture of our hearts.
When we dig deeper, we realise we all fall short. And yet, God forgives. Psalm 103:10-12 declares:
He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
Linda paused here to speak directly to those who may intellectually understand forgiveness but still feel bound by past mistakes. God has forgiven you. It is already done. Jesus paid the price on the cross. Have you forgiven yourself? Have you let it go? God wants you to live in the freedom of his forgiveness.
But the story doesn't end with personal salvation. Jesus immediately follows the Lord's Prayer with this clarification: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15).
These are strong words. Jesus underscores them with the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35) — a man forgiven an impossible debt of six million days' wages (essentially unpayable in multiple lifetimes), who then refuses to forgive a fellow servant who owes him a mere hundred days' wages. The king's response is swift and severe: the unforgiving servant is handed over to the jailers.
Why does Jesus emphasise this so strongly? Because forgiveness is central to bringing heaven to earth right now. The Lord's Prayer is a petition for God's kingdom to come, for his will to be done "on earth as it is in heaven." When we forgive as God forgives, we participate in ushering heaven's reality into the present.
As one writer put it: "We look most like God when we forgive another."
Linda was careful to clarify the order: We are not primarily called to forgive others. We are primarily called to receive the forgiveness of God. Receiving that forgiveness transforms us, enabling us to extend it to others. Even the Lord's Prayer follows this sequence: "Forgive us our sins" first, "as we forgive those who sin against us" second.
Misconception #3: There Must Be Reconciliation for Full Forgiveness
Does forgiveness require reconciliation? Linda unpacked Jesus' teaching in Matthew 18:15-17, which outlines a clear process when someone sins against you:
Go and speak to them privately. Ideally, they'll listen, and the relationship will be restored.
If they won't listen, take one or two impartial mediators (not your best friends or family members who'll automatically take your side).
If they still refuse to listen, tell the church — ensure the wider community is safe.
If they refuse to listen even then, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector — someone outside the community.
Linda humorously walked through what we'd like these conversations to look like:
"Remember when this happened? It really hurt me."
"Oh my goodness, I had no idea! I'm so sorry. Can you forgive me? Let's go to dinner — my shout!"
But reality is messier. People get defensive. They deflect. They turn it back on you. Jesus knew this. That's why he didn't stop at "just go talk to them." He provided a pathway for situations where reconciliation isn't possible.
Here's the crucial distinction: Reconciliation requires two people. Forgiveness requires only you.
You cannot control how someone else will respond. But you can choose your heart posture toward them. Forgiveness doesn't mean ignoring the wrong, endorsing it, or pretending it didn't happen. As Tim Mackie from The Bible Project says:
Forgiveness is a heart posture towards someone that's wronged you. And that has to happen regardless of whether we are ever able to repair the relationship or reconcile.
You can choose to let them go. You can choose not to be bound up by their actions. You can choose to release the hold that offense has on your life. That is forgiveness — and it's a choice you can make even when reconciliation isn't possible.
Linda concluded by reminding us that Jesus gives us this teaching in the form of a prayer. That's an invitation to bring God into the dialogue. We can't do this in our own strength. We need God's help to forgive ourselves, to accept his forgiveness, and to extend it to others. Forgiveness isn't just a moral teaching — it's a prayerful posture of dependence on the God whose very heart is forgiveness.
One Way to Live It Out This Week
Choose one person you've been holding unforgiveness toward and begin praying for them daily this week. You don't need to contact them or force reconciliation. Simply bring them before God in prayer and ask him to soften your heart toward them. Let this be the first step toward releasing the grip that unforgiveness may have on you. Trust that as you receive God's forgiveness, he can enable you to extend it to others.
A Prayer
Abba, Father, you are truly a God of compassion and love. You are slow to anger, gracious, and forgiving. We thank you for the forgiveness you have given to us through Jesus. We thank you that we can step into a life of redemption and freedom because you have forgiven our sins. Help us to take on your heart of forgiveness as we extend that forgiveness to others, whether reconciliation can be made or not. Change our hearts, Lord, to be more like yours, so that as we live here on earth, we can step into your heavenly space every single day. We pray this in your mighty, gracious, forgiving name, Jesus. Amen.
Personal Reflection
Is there an area of your past that you know God has forgiven, but you still feel bound by shame or guilt? What would it look like to truly let that go?
When you think about the cross, do you lean more toward understanding God's justice or God's mercy? How does understanding God's long history of forgiveness (even in the Old Testament) reshape your view of who he is?
Is there someone in your life toward whom you're holding unforgiveness? What would be the first step toward releasing them — even if reconciliation isn't possible?
Small Group Discussion
What stood out to you most from Linda's sermon on forgiveness?
Why do you think we sometimes find it easier to believe God is angry with us rather than slow to anger and abounding in love?
Read Exodus 34:6-7 together. How does this description of God challenge common misconceptions about the God of the Old Testament?
Linda said, "We look most like God when we forgive another." Why do you think forgiveness is so central to reflecting God's character?
How does receiving God's forgiveness change us so that we become able to forgive others? Can you share an example of this from your own life?
Jesus gave a clear process in Matthew 18:15-17 for addressing sin. Why do you think we often skip straight to talking about someone rather than talking to them? What makes direct conversations so difficult?
What's the difference between reconciliation and forgiveness? Have you experienced a situation where you were able to forgive even though reconciliation wasn't possible?
Who do you need to pray for this week as you take a step toward forgiveness? Take some time to pray for one another, asking God to soften hearts and bring healing where there has been hurt.